


Never say die

by Donya



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, Hospital Sex, Hospitals, Illnesses, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:38:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5969173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/Donya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frostiron AU. Tony has been struggling to flirt with a socially awkward Loki for quite a while. One day Loki boldly asks Tony to have sex with him. One thing leads to another and Loki reveals he's scheduled for a major operation the very next day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never say die

Tony had one weakness in his life and that was doughnuts. It didn't matter how unhealthy that addiction was or how hard he had to work on his six-pack. Wonderfully soft dough and sweet icing, and sprinkles, such a delightful guilty pleasure.

Every morning he passed a cafe that serves those sinfully delicious pastries and decent coffee. Every day he told himself no, be strong, keep walking, yet he always ended up ordering a doughnut, every day a different one. That was how he met Loki. The oddly named guy seemed to share Tony's taste in sweets, though he preferred chocolate cake. A slice of a rich, very caloric cake for breakfast, so wrong and thrilling. Tony enjoyed watching Loki chose what to order, he would hesitate for at least five minutes and regardless of all the temptations, he would pick the same cake as usual.

After a week or two, Tony knew a little more about Loki. A clumsy daydreamer, easily distracted, he never failed to spill his coffee. There was also something wrong with his sight, maybe he needed glasses but didn't want to look like a hipster. Sometimes he would bring a newspaper or a book but couldn't focus long enough to read more than one paragraph. Tony stared at him, thinking how adorable Loki was, a bit weird but loveable. 

Flirting with him was harder than expected. A simple 'hi' genuinely startled Loki. They were sitting rather close to each other and Tony could see how quickly Loki's cheeks heated up. That was it, nothing turned Tony on more than shy, blushing creatures like Loki.

'Just breathe, you don't have to say anything,' he assured Loki. Take things slow, he thought, don't scare him away. It was entirely possible that Loki wasn't interested in Tony at all. After the initial shock, however, Loki seemed to have discovered that he liked Tony's attention if the smile on his face whenever he saw Tony was any indication.

 

Soon Loki ditched coffee and switched to some hideous herbal tea. He would sip the infusion with tears in his eyes. Maybe he was on a diet that bans caffeine but allows cakes, or suffered from insomnia. That would explain his crankiness. He never snapped when a young barista, as scatterbrained as he, confused his order, but was very close to doing so.

Tony didn't invade Loki's personal space and didn't ask too many questions. He gave Loki enough time to get used to him and after a month, Loki went as far as greeting him laconically and even revealed his name. He was a man of few words, even when talking on the phone, nothing more than 'yes' and 'no'. Tony was so excited, everyone knows that the quiet ones are most kinky.

 

One day Loki must have been extremely hungry because he ordered five different pastries. Despite all the sugar, colourful icing and rich ganache, he managed to look upset. Perhaps he regretted his choice and missed his usual cake.

'Hi, Loki,' Tony said before he stuffed his mouth with a strawberry doughnut. Loki didn't react, that wasn't new, sometimes Tony had to repeat it three times before Loki acknowledged his existence. 'Loki. Hi.'

'Oh, hi.'

'Why so many pastries?'

'I had to try them, I always had only chocolate cake and...'

That was the longest sentence Loki had ever uttered in Tony's presence. Two more months and maybe they would hold hands.

'Do you want a piece of my doughnut?' That came out so suggestive, yet Loki ignored it. He took a bite of a chocolate croissant and chewed it slowly. Such a passionate affair.

Loki took a huge gulp of water and was about to put the glass back on the table but he missed. He was spending a small fortune on all those glasses and mugs he broke.

'You must think I am an idiot,' Loki remarked bitterly. What was going on with him that day? So chatty all of a sudden. 'I'm not usually like this.'

'I like you like this,' Tony responded quickly. He was going to ask Loki out, in just a moment. Oddly enough, Loki did it first. He leant closer to Tony and asked straight away if Tony found him attractive.

'Yes.'

Definitely. Pale skin, hair long enough to grab and pull, long legs that would feel great wrapped around Tony's middle and green eyes. Yup, Loki was hot.

'So... you would want to have sex with me, hmm?'

'Yes. Totally. So nice of you to bring that up, I was just-'

'Are you free tonight? It has to be tonight.'

'Don't tell me you're leaving tomorrow.'

'Kind of. My place? I'll write you down my address.'

Loki's handwriting was super hard to decipher, but who cared, the careful tiptoeing was over. 

 

Loki wasn't going to waste time. By the time Tony closed the door and said, 'Nice place', Loki was already naked. Tony followed him to the bedroom, struggling to undress in the process. Everything was prepared, fresh sheets, blinds closed, condoms and lube ready to use. Loki sat on the edge of the bed and waited anxiously for Tony to join him.

'Relax,' Tony gave him a reassuring smile, wondering if that was Loki's first time. 'There's nothing to worry about.'

'I can't give you a blowjob,' Loki warned. That sounded weird, people usually say they don't _want_ to do that. Perhaps he had a bad experience in that matter.

'Ok, how about I give you one? Let's start with that.'

Loki was shivering, either he was cold or stressed out. Tony moved closer and kissed his cheek first, then lips. A slow, rather intimate kiss made Loki less tense and he even put his hands on Tony's shoulders. After a moment or two, he pulled away and lay on his back.

'I'm ready, you can, umm, continue.'

'You are so wild,' Tony winked at him and crawled on top of Loki to kiss him again, more deeply than before, then moved lower, to Loki's neck and hit a jackpot. The lightest touch made Loki gasp and twist under Tony, that was a satisfying reacting. A bit of nibbling and Loki started to moan, so Tony bit harder and pushed a hand between Loki's legs. Nails scratching his back and loud 'Yes!' encouraged him to grip Loki's cock and stroke it steadily. It looked like there wouldn't be time enough to suck it, Loki was shaking, panting and when Tony looked up, he saw Loki's eyes roll back in his head.

'Yes, just like that,' Tony smirked. That was all Loki needed - he went incredibly rigid. However, he didn't let out a single sound, Tony was disappointed, he thought Loki was a screamer. Only when Loki's entire body started to shake in mad convulsions did Tony realise it was not an ordinary orgasm. He had never witnessed a seizure, yet the longer Loki jerked violently, stiff as a board, the more it became obvious that he was having an epileptic fit.

Tony jumped off Loki and put him in the recovery position, just in case. Every muscle in Loki's body was taut, his limbs tremored uncontrollably. What to do? Call an ambulance? Wait? Join him and thrash around?

Tony could swear it lasted a whole eternity. When the seizure was over and Loki relaxed, Tony noticed he had passed out. That probably wasn't alarming, yet Tony decided to stay and make sure Loki was ok. Well, ok for a person that has epilepsy and keeps it a secret. What a little shit, that was why he refused oral sex, he didn't want to bite Tony's dick off. How thoughtful.

Tony got dressed, he had to be prepared for a quick ride to a hospital. Ten more minutes and he would call 911. In the meantime, he decided to bring Loki some water. On the kitchen table, there were various documents neatly arranged. Also, spare keys, some lists and a phone, broken. Loki must have dropped it one too many times. There was no number to Loki's parents, no instruction what to do during a seizure. Could it be the first time? A sex-induced seizure?

He returned to the bedroom to find the sleeping beauty awake and confused. Tony handed him the glass and it slipped out of Loki's hand before he could take a sip.

'Did I... Did-'

'Yeah. Epilepsy, worth mentioning _before_ sex.'

'Oh my God,' Loki muttered and hid his face in hands, then started to cry. He was really distraught and felt guilty. There was a good reason for that, he scared the hell out of Tony.

'That was my only chance!' Loki sobbed out. 'Now I will die a virgin!'

'That's a little dramatic. You're young, there's plenty of time-'

Loki let his hands down, revealing his red face and eyes full of tears. 'No, there's not. I'm dying.'

'Yeah, right.'

'I'm having a brain surgery tomorrow.' Loki was grimly amused by how flabbergasted Tony was. 

That should have been the end of their undefined relationship. Loki's health issues, real or not, were none of Tony's business. But damn, he was curious and a bit concerned. What if Loki's condition was infectious?

'So what is it? Cancer?'

'No, a brain tumour, benign. A freaking meningioma, a middle-aged women's tumour, so of course, I had to have it.'

A brain tumour, damn it, the simplest explanation for all of Loki's symptoms. A sizeable growth in his brain made him drop things, blurred his vision and caused seizures. Still, things could have been much worse, the tumour was non-cancerous and operable, the best possible combination.

Loki stopped crying, relieved that Tony didn't yell at him. He had to be terrified about the impending surgery and needed comfort. Secretive and withdrawn as he was, he probably wanted to talk to someone, if only to hear that nothing bad would happen. 

'Everything is going to be ok,' Tony said and patted Loki's shoulder. 'There, there.'

'Thanks. That means a lot, especially that you are not a neurosurgeon.'

'Right? So what will they do to you tomorrow? Drill holes in your skull? Cut out a piece of it to get to the tumour?'

'No, thank God, no. I'll have an endoscopic transnasal operation. They will cut the meningioma out, piece by piece, through my nose.'

'That's great, given the circumstances. Sounds minimally invasive. You'll bounce back in no time.'

'Unless something goes wrong. Even if the surgery is successful, I can still die. Did you know that up to 80% of medical staff are carriers of Staphylococcus aureus? I might survive a brain operation and die of staph infection.'

'Loki, haven't you heard that when a patient wants to live, medicine is helpless?' Tony chuckled and was glad that Loki joined him. Dark humour is better than weeping.

'Anyway, I'm prepared for my death,' Loki continued. 'I've cleaned my flat of everything my family shouldn't see.'

'You mean your sex toys?'

'You have such a dirty mind, but yes, I meant my _massagers_. Unfortunately, I've managed to misplace one of them. Either I threw it away or put in some very visible place and cannot see it.'

'I can help you look for it,' Tony offered generously. He hoped to use it on Loki or see it, to know what size Loki preferred.

 

That was officially the most bizarre date Tony could imagine. First the lack of sex, then the whole tumour thing and finally searching for a lost vibrator. They started from the bedroom and checked every inch of the room, every drawer and each dark corner. All they found was a naughty book full of very detailed sex scenes. Tony read the spiciest bits out loud. Loki laughed, a bit nervously.

'What else did you get rid of? Handcuffs? Please, say you're into that stuff.'

'If you must know, I had a pair of lace panties, you know, just to see how it feels,' Loki said innocently. 'That alone would give my father a heart attack. I had to clear my laptop of all the, umm, educational videos and guides to, er, sex worth having.'

'Porn. Just say it was porn. You could have told me the truth earlier and keep all of your naughty possessions at my place. Those panties, what colour were they? Say red.'

'Green.'

'Too late, I've pictured you in red. Yeah, you look great. Now, think again, what on earth did you do with that vibrator?'

'My memory isn't too good at this point. Wait, let's check the bathroom.'

The mystery of the forgotten sex toy was solved as soon as Tony looked under the bathtub. Loki explained he was too afraid of drowning to get anywhere near the tub. 

'I must have left it here before I got worse. Now I can only take two-minute long showers,' Loki said sadly, glancing longingly at the tub.

'If you want your last bubble bath with a meningioma, I can watch you,' Tony suggested and nudged Loki's hip with the vibrator. 'If anyone needs to unwind, it's you.'

Loki hesitated but the offer was tempting. Tony had seen him naked already and depending on the outcome of the surgery, that could be Loki's last chance to indulge himself like that.

'Fine, but do watch me all the time. Drowning in your own bathroom is such a stupid way to die.'

'Yeah, a brain tumour is much cooler.'

Tony went to find a chair and Loki did wait for him, naked again.  

'Isn't that too much bath foam?'

'There's no longer point in saving it for later,' Loki sighed as he dropped the empty bottle on the floor. Cleaning was not on his priority list either. ' I already feel detached from the everyday life. I haven't bought any books since the diagnosis because I won't finish them.'

'Look on the bright side, you've saved some money for the post-surgery celebrations,' Tony smiled and helped Loki get into the tub. 'Now, is it as good as you remembered?'

Loki, almost entirely hidden under the fluffy layer of foam, moaned in pleasure. 'Better. The only thing missing is a glass of wine. Abstinence is probably the worst part of this whole ordeal, followed by giving up coffee. No, wait, the worst is yet to come, my mother and brother will not give me any privacy in the following weeks.'

Tony didn't say how much he envied Loki his family, regardless of how annoying relatives can be. Would anyone look after a gravely ill Tony? Most likely he would he die alone. He really needed to start a family or, at least, make friends with reliable, caring people. 

Loki moved his feet lazily and meticulously covered every bare part of his body with the foam. He clearly intended to soak for at least an hour. On the other hand, that was probably the last little pleasure he could afford.

'I'm sorry I ruined this night,' he finally apologised, 'and that I frightened you. I understand that you do not wish to see me again and well, I deserved it.'

Something in his voice suggested that it would not be the first time he had been abandoned and rejected. Apparently, he did not possess the gift of telepathy and thus didn't know what sort of feelings Tony had for him.

'Actually, I think I want to stick around,' Tony stated firmly, hoping that Loki would not question his intentions.

'It's not really necessary, my mother is fully capable of boring you to death and there's no need for more than one funeral this week.'

'I love your tendency to assume the worst. Seriously, I can bark at sloppy nurses and behave so inappropriately that your family will leave us alone and give you a break.'

Loki was not convinced. 'Why? Nothing about tomorrow will be pleasant. Or the day after tomorrow and so on.'

'If you must know, I am curious what will happen. How quickly you'll recover and if there will be any side effects. Life-threatening diseases are always fascinating, just like other near-death experiences.'

'Oh. My. God,' Loki groaned. Did he find Tony's explanation offending? 'Oh my _freaking_ God! This my fucking luck! I meet a potential soul mate after I got a death sentence! I totally know what you mean, it is interesting which of the possible complication will happen to me.'

'Yeah. Oh, and I like you.' Tony's light tone probably didn't reveal how hard his crush on Loki was.

'Bear in mind that you don't know the real me. I'm not usually like this. You've met only the meningioma me.'

'Don't overthink this. Just tell me the name of the hospital and whether or not you want a handjob. You trusted me with taking your precious flower and I won't let you down.'

Loki's laugh quickly turned into ugly sobbing. He raised his foam-coated hand to dry his tears and accidentally rubbed the foam into his eye. That was a real reason to cry. 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Crossing Jordan final season, though I did my research.


End file.
